sighs, streams and broken dreams
by sophichka
Summary: a series of drabbles in the run up to christmas, 25 drabbles in 25 days. Some will be Christmassy, some won't be. Various era's and pairings.
1. JamesLily

He pursued you relentlessly, never taking no for an answer. He wouldn't understand that the reason you disliked him so was not because you "weren't interested" or "liked somebody else" but because he seemed incapable of being pleasant to anyone. He didn't understand that you found hanging people upside down in mid air cruel, rather than funny.

But, on the other hand, you couldn't see that he was meant for you, this irritating boy with his perpetually messy hair and dark brown eyes. You didn't understand that he wasn't pursuing you because you were the only girl who had ever said no to him, but because he truly did feel something for you.

But you always were a stubborn girl, so you turned you back on him, and walked away.

* * *

You finally started seeing the real him, sometime late in your sixth year, or possibly early in your seventh. You were no longer friends with Sev, the budding death eater, and to be honest, after what he had called you, you couldn't care less when you saw James and the rest of the Marauders taunting him.

You didn't like most of his friends though, Pettigrew seemed too _smarmy_, always sucking up to the others, and Black was far too arrogant, even more so than James, if that were possible. Remus on the other hand, you liked. He seemed intelligent, rarely participating in James and Sirius' less than correct antics. In fact, at times, you liked James the least out of all of them

But then there were those eyes, that unerring skill on the Quidditch pitch. The noble, if rather irrational, desire to run away and fight Voldemort. You were drawn to him, like a moth to a flame.

* * *

He pursued you relentlessly, and in the end, you were glad. He gave you his everything, he gave you your son, he gave you his love. You stare into the face of the man who will deliver death to you, and you thank the gods, the stars, the heavens, for whoever gave you James Potter.

* * *

**A/N: Hope that didn't suck too bad! It was my first James/Lily, and I'm not sure if I particularly like it... **


	2. RoseScorpius

He might not be who your father had in mind for you, he might be the bad boy of Slytherin, and he might currently be dating your cousin, but you love him anyway.

Or, at least, you think you love him. You've never experienced real love before, you've never had a boyfriend before, so you don't really know what's going on in your heart, but you think it's love.

Godric, you _hope_ it's love.

* * *

He and Lily break up a few days later, under the mistletoe at the Yule Ball. You feel a sense of relief, and satisfaction. Relief for you, you don't think you could live without him, and satisfaction because you can _finally _try and set Lily up with Teddy. You can see that they're perfect for each other, you can see how much Teddy loves Lily, and you know it's just the prejudices of other people that are stopping your family seeing beyond the eleven year age gap.

You hope that for you they will be able to see past the fact that he's a _Slytherin _and a Malfoy at that. They never knew that Lily and he were dating, but your Uncle Harry doesn't hold grudges like your dad, and Lily's in Slytherin anyway, so they couldn't complain at _that_.

But you're not a Slytherin, you're a Gryffindor, noble and brave, but Godric, you don't feel brave right now, and you're certainly not noble, not when you want your _cousins ex_.

* * *

And then come the years of lipstick stains on his coffee mugs, and mascara stains on your pillow from where you've cried yourself to sleep each night. And if only you could both see beyond the fact that you're both so incompatible for each other and just accept the fact that you're meant to be.

But, of course, true love is only the stuff of fairytales, and nobody is surprised when the two of you fizzle out like an old firecracker.

* * *

Your only regret is that you didn't burn out in a blaze of glory, but supernovas are reserved for those that earn them.


	3. Victoire

She knew in her heart of hearts that it would never be _TeddyandVictoire_. He had always belonged to the girl with the freckles, and the red ringlets, and the green eyes, the girl who was the spitting image of her namesake. He was the James to her Lily, the Lupin to her Tonks, and the irony was that both of them were one half of each of those couples anyway. She, on the other hand, was the Cho to his Harry, the one to tide him over before he could find his Ginny.

She convinced herself sometimes that he would stay with her. She convinced herself that he would find the eleven year age gap to be too big, but she knew that they would never be together, and every time she saw him with her she felt her heart break a little bit more.

The mascara tracks down her face were becoming almost permanent, but she knew that she could never tell Teddy what was wrong – he would laugh at her, tell her not to be so silly, wipe away her tears, assure her that they would be together forever.

It was never going to happen though, and she was just going to have to accept that. She and Teddy had no chance, he belonged to tiny little Lily, the girl she can't help but love, even though she knew she will be the reason her heart will break.

So one night, she packs her bags; takes the bottle of firewhisky from the cabinet and leaves.

And do you want to know the worst thing about the end of your love affair, darling? You don't shed one tear, and you find it hard to care, even as it causes your life to spiral out of control, even as you leave the wizarding world behind and haunt the muggle clubs, a bottle of jack and a cigarette clutched permanently in your hand.

_Because you've convinced yourself that you never really cared anyway._

**A/N: Yes, yes, I know it switches from third to second person, but I just typed, and that's what happened. I quite like it, but if anyone has any burning opinions on it I will change it. **


	4. Teddy

It hurts every time the anniversary rolls around. You know that half the wizarding world is grieving somebody that they lost on this day, but nobody feels the grief like you. You had the two most important people in your life taken away before you even had the chance to know them.

You have no memory of them, only the pictures that your godfather has given you. Your father and his friends, the Marauders, or so they called themselves, beam out at you from the picture in your hands, waving and laughing, all of them now dead. James Potter. Killed by Voldemort protecting his wife and baby son. Sirius Black. Killed by Bellatrix Lestrange fighting for good to triumph over evil, fighting to protect his best friend's son, his godson. Remus Lupin. Your father, killed by an unknown Death Eater fighting to end the fighting once and for all. Peter Pettigrew. Cut out of the photo by its original owner, and killed by his own hand.

You have so many traits of your mother, your metamorphic tendencies, your incompetence at household spells, and yet it is your father whom you look like when you are in your "true" form – but much more handsome than he ever was, or so you like to flatter yourself. You know that he was handsome in his youth, that the stress of the war was what made him become so ragged, and untidy.

You love them both; no matter how little you knew them. You know that they will always be in your heart, no matter how the years dull your remembrance. You know that you will never stop grieving, no matter how the pain has dulled.

And when you finally accomplish becoming an animagus, the form that you take is a wolf.

_Because, really, what else could you be?_


	5. Lily Luna

Sometimes she hated it, being a Potter. Revered wherever she went, because she was the daughter of the chosen one, the daughter of the boy who lived.

It was no surprise really, or it shouldn't have been, at least, when she rebelled against the image her family had already unconsciously created for her, before she was even born. She started by being sorted into Slytherin, an unconscious act of rebellion that had the wizarding world in uproar.

When she hit her fifth year she started wearing too much makeup, too short skirts, too high heels and too low cut tops. She dated the wrong boys, never went to class on time but her _grades never slipped_. She was far too intelligent to let that happen.

She was the girl that the younger years feared, walking through the corridors with an authority that the prefects envied, with a beauty that even Victoire Weasley, part Veela, was jealous of, with an inner core of steel.

Her brothers worried about her, James beat up anyone who dared to break Lily's heart, he knew when it was broken, even if the rest of the world didn't. Heck, he sometimes wondered if Lily herself knew when her heart had been broken, if she even knew how to feel anymore.

Albus tried to help by taking away her firewhisky, her cigarettes, deciding that if she couldn't numb her pain and her feelings, then she would have to face up to them.

She doesn't of course. She just steals more firewhiskey from Teddy Lupins' private store, and goes back to numbing her pain.

* * *

She bombs out of Hogwarts in a blaze of glory, sleeping with Teddy, no, _Professor_ Lupin, and then spectacularly failing all of her OWLs.

But, of course, she's always got her uncles to back her up, they'll always have their favourite (although none of them will admit it) niece's back. So she goes to work with George, and tries to put every thought of Teddy Lupin out of her head.

She can't run from herself forever though, so it comes as no surprise to George when one morning he wakes to find her room empty and a note on her bed.

He'll miss her, he liked having a surrogate daughter, but he knows he has to let her go. She was only his to borrow, after all.

* * *

They'll find her one day, sleeping rough on a bench in St James' Park. A bottle of Jack Daniel's whisky in one hand, and a bottle of firewhisky in the other. Two worlds colliding, a star burning bright. Burning out to become a dwarf star, it's life over, already forgotten.

_Because you were never big enough or bright enough to go supernova._


	6. James Sirius

It was hard being her elder brother at times – she certainly never made it easy for you with her drinking, smoking and partying. The number of boys you had beaten up for messing with your little sister must have been well into the hundreds, but she never seemed to care, kissing them, playing with them and then dumping them as soon as she became bored with them.

She might not have cared, and she may possibly have even been the one in the wrong, but you beat them up anyway. It gave you a way to feel useful, gave you a way to feel something more than _just another James Potter, _but more worthless than the last. You like to think you're just like the Marauders, most like the two you're named after anyway, you wouldn't want to be a werewolf, and you certainly wouldn't want to be anything like _Pettigrew_.

Your father sees a lot of himself in you, when he was younger. The same ruthless determination, the same will to bend and break the rules. But, surprisingly, the person you remind him the most of is Sirius, to whom you are not related in the slightest.

You have the same arrogance and mischievousness, the same skills as a wizard. You have the same habit for bullying people, and you pull pranks that are way out of the league of anything Fred and George did whilst they were at Hogwarts. You and your friends even call yourself the Marauders, and you all teach yourself to form into animagus. You don't turn into a stag as everyone expects you to, but a dog, a big black dog, which could be mistaken for the grim.

And, although by rights it is you that should receive the Potter fortune, and Al that should receive the Black fortune, your father reverses it, so that it is you that receives what was once Sirius Black's.

_Because who better to receive the Black fortune than Sirius Black reincarnated? _


	7. Hermione

Christmas had always been special for Hermione, well; it had been in her childhood at least, when all of her family were there, her mum, her dad. Christmas had been spent surrounded by all her family, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents – they were all there.

As she grew up, and started to spend Christmas at the Burrow, it had become even more special for her. She was surrounded by the family she had chosen to have, and yet could still go back to her real family at any time she wanted.

As Voldemort gathered power, and she first had to spend her Christmases living in fear in Grimmauld Place, and then had to spend Christmas in a tent, Christmas had slowly lost its appeal. It reignited bad memories, ones she's rather forget.

_Because what's the point of celebrating something wizards don't believe in?_


	8. James

It hurt, knowing that he wasn't going to be around forever. Knowing that this Christmas could be his last, Lily's last, Harry's last _(and first. But he didn't want to think about that. Not now.)_

They had tried to make the house cheery, tried to make it seem as though everything was alright in the word, but his time was limited.

The time for all the Marauders was limited.

Sirius would certainly be killed, after Regulus had been it was only a matter of time. Remus, the other werewolves were already in league with Voldemort, and he wasn't going to be ignored for much longer. Pettigrew was the only one with a chance of surviving, but he was such a coward and so foolhardy that James doubted he would make it once he and the other two were gone.

And James. James knew his time was limited. Harry was the "chosen one," or so Dumbledore said. Voldemort was going to come after his child, and he and Lily would be killed in the process, any chance to kill a member of the Order was seized by any Death Eater, be they the leader, or the lowest down servant.

Harry had to be kept safe. He had to live on, to continue the name of the Potters and to continue the name of the Marauders. The second coming of the Marauders.

_It would be glorious. _


	9. Lily

You know that he will never let go of this stupid notion. Defeating Voldemort may happen, but not by him, or you, or Harry. Not now that your time on this earth was limited. James knew that his time and your time were limited, but he was not accept that Harry had as much time left on this earth as you did, and that his life was almost sure to end soon too. James was convinced that Harry would grow up and defeat Voldemort, he was determined that Voldemort would be destroyed by a Potter, and if he couldn't do it that his son would.

You are desperate for your son to live, but you know how unlikely it is that he will ever grow up, fall in love, get married and you know that even if he does live, even if he does grow up, find a girl he loves, get married, you're highly unlikely to see it anyway.

You hope to God that he never finds out about the Marauders though, you may love your Marauder to the ends of the earth and back, but you would never want your son's life to be like that, constantly risking his life, constantly being a foolhardy hero, living his life on the edge and risking his neck every time he so much as moved. You wish your son could be a plain old nobody.

_Because you know it's no fun being a hero all the time._


	10. Harry

It had never occurred to you to follow the path of the Marauders, you were occasionally impulsive, sometimes hotheaded, regularly stupid, often reckless and always like your father, but it never occurred to you to try and be like the Marauders.

Subconsciously, you were afraid of trying and failing to be as good as your father and his friends were, but on the surface you had too much of your mother in you to ever be anything like the Marauders.

Yes, of course you were reckless, of course you played the hero, you were the one that defeated the darkest wizard who ever lived, but somehow, you weren't quite like _them_. Of course you took after them – one of them was your father and two of them were two of the biggest role models in your life. But you were never anything like the Marauders.

_Because you had too much of your mother in you to ever be a bully. _


	11. James Sirius 2

You were the second coming of the Marauders, and fuck, but you were damn proud of it. You and your friends walked around the halls of Hogwarts like the cocky Gryffindors you were, you, heir to the Black and Potter fortunes, at the helm, walking around as if you owned the place.

But, you knew that wasn't true. Fuck, the whole school knew it wasn't true. The walls and halls of Hogwarts were owned by the fifth year Slytherin, the one with tumbling red hair and short short skirts who strutted around the school in her stilettos like she owned the place. And, you couldn't even hate her for it, because you were her big brother, her protector, and you loved her regardless.

She wasn't the re-incarnation of Lily Evans, no matter how much she looked like her. Lily Evans could never be found stumbling around the corridors with a bottle of firewhisky at 3am. And James Potter would never have helped her back to her dorm like you did. Even if he had been her brother.

_Because you were never James Potter anyway._


	12. Albus Severus

He was the cool, reckless, have a go hero who everybody loved, she was the girl who owned the school, had everybody in her power, and who was respected and feared in equal measure. You, you were stuck in the middle, never quite reaching their level, but they loved you regardless. To James, you were his little brother, he would stick by you to the end, and if anybody ever harmed you or bullied you, then so help them God, because James would have killed them.

She loved you, you were her big brother, you were the one that beat up the boys who broke her heart, although you were never sure if it was capable of being broken or not. You knew that James beat them up pretty bad afterwards, but you were always the one with the first punch, even if you never could bring yourself to hurt them any worse.

You were the one who found her, out there in the dark, and the rain, screaming out to the heavens, searching for help from a god she didn't (wouldn't, couldn't, _shouldn't_) believe in. You were the one who held her close and let her cry out whatever crap it was that was pulling her down. And you were the one that got the first smile from her in three months.

_Because you were never a Marauder, but you were what your sister needed, and that's all that's ever mattered to you. _


	13. Lily Luna 2

**A/N: Umm, this *was* going to be a 200 word drabble. Honest. I'm not entirely sure what happened. Oh, and a small warning, if you took out all the profanities, (ooh, posh word!) then this would probably be about a quarter of the length. I lost count of the amount of times I used the word fuck in this...**

You were the ice queen, with your tumbling ringlets of red red hair, your pouty lips, your perfect features. You wore short short skirts, and stilettos, and you drew them in, but as soon as you'd had your fun then you were done with them.

James may have been the second coming of the Marauders, but you were something more, something infinitely more powerful than the Marauders had ever been. You didn't just rule the school, you fucking owned it. And hell, but you were proud of that fact.

You had very few close friends, out of choice, not lack of personality, or social skills. The only person you would call a friend was Ivy Malfoy, and your family of course, but if you asked anyone else in the school, then they would tell anyone who would listen about how they were your "_best best friend_" even if you'd never spoken to them before in your life.

You were the last Potter/Weasley/Lupin left at Hogwarts now, the baby of the family, but you had never really needed your brothers anyway, except for Al, he was your rock, your best friend, your _big brother_.

You had ruled the place since your fourth year though, so you really didn't need any help from anyone else, although it would have been useful to have James or Al around so that they could beat up some of the more persistent "suitors." (Or Teddy, but you were trying to pretend like Teddy didn't exist.)

You had your uncle George around though, he had bought the Zonko's in Hogsmeade, so you made sure to see him every time a Hogsmeade weekend came around, although you were sure that he must have lost a lot of business by leaving the shop in the hands of his assistants every weekend the Hogwarts students came down – no one had the natural sales charm and charisma of your uncle George. Charlie was always around too, making sure to have excuses to come up to the castle so that he could see you, you were his favourite niece, although he would never admit it to any of his other nieces or nephews, and he regarded you as the child he never had. He was proud of you, no matter what you did, unlike the rest of your family. He and George were the only two members of your family to be happy for you when you were placed in Slytherin. (And Teddy, but you weren't going to think about him. Not ever, ever again.)

But, fucking hell, you missed you family like crazy, especially all your cousins, and Hugo, you thought he would have been with you through all your time at Hogwarts, but he started distancing himself as soon as you were sorting into Slytherin, just like his fucking father Ron Weasley and the rest of his family. Not even your own mother could look you in the eye and tell you that she was proud of you being where you were. And then Hugo had to go and be so fucking clever that he graduated a year early, with an "Outstanding" in every single N.E.W.T. it was possible to even fucking achieve. Was anybody that proud of you when you had all Os and EEs in your O.W.L.s? No, they couldn't fucking care, too busy congratulating James on his N.E.W.T.s, to even throw a quick "well done" your way, although James himself had seemed to be able to find the time.

God dammit, your life was so fucked up, your mother and father, the so called "golden couple," couldn't handle the fact that their daughter was becoming everything that they had fought against. But, fucking hell, couldn't they tell that the only reason you were turning into this empty shell, the girl who found it fun to use the unforgivable curses on flies (but never people, never ever people, you weren't that screwed up. Not yet.) was because they had never been able to find it in themselves to be proud of their Slytherin daughter, that the only reason that you hated them was because they always seemed to hate you, for fucks sake they were so fucking blind.

You strut the halls of Hogwarts like you own them, but your time is limited, soon you'll be cast out into the cold, left to fend for yourself, because you doubt your family will help you. They help their own, but you're not one of their own, not now, you've made sure of that, refusing to go home since the beginning of your sixth year, crashing instead on Charlie's sofa every holiday. Charlie will help you though, you know he will.

But you don't want to leave your family like this; you want them to know how much they've truly fucked you up, how much they've torn you apart, them and _Teddy fucking Lupin_.

So that's why you turn up, at the end of August, after you've finally finished school. You've been sitting with a group of old Slytherins, the ones you used to get drunk with at school, and now you turn up to the Burrow for the annual family get together, complete hammered on muggle spirits, a bottle of jack clutched firmly in one hand, and a cigarette clutched in the other. You're wearing your shortest skirt, your eyes are ringed with the darkest black liner, your mascara makes your eyelashes fluttering look like wings, your heels are high, your necklines low, and you are _so fucking beautiful_ that Teddy Lupin can't keep his eyes off you, but you've done what you came here to do, you've shown them what you are now, a beautiful shell of yourself, and you've succeeded in making Teddy hurt as much as you hurt every single fucking time you think or hear or say his name. You saw his face, hell, the whole fucking family saw his face, and you could tell that he still loves you as much as he claimed all those years ago, when you told him that if he didn't fuck off _right this second _then you would make sure he would never be able to have children.

And hell, have you fucking regretted it, every day since.

_Because maybe you were a little bit in love with him too, after all. _


	14. Lupin

He could see that it would all end in disaster, him and Tonks. He wasn't meant to have children; he was a werewolf, what if the child inherited his genes?

But all the same, he had to admit that it was a tempting thought, if the son of one of the Marauders could defeat Voldemort, then maybe this child of the Marauders would be something special as well. Maybe the Marauders would do some good for the world after all.

He was ecstatic when his son was born, _Teddy_, he as destined for greatness, someone said to him, and he thanked them and smiled, for hadn't someone said something similar to Harry, or was it James, once?

And as he died, as the faceless Death Eater roared the words that would end his life, he smiled.

_Because his son was destined for greatness._

**A/N: Umm, yeah. This is really quite shit. I think writing Lily Luna's yesterday has stolen all of my plot bunnies. But, hey, I didn't swear once in this drabble! Well, I did, but it's in the a/n, and it's true so it doesn't count xD **


	15. Tonks

She held her son, bouncing him up and down on her knee, soothing him to sleep. She was going to fight the Dark Lord, and may never see her son again.

Oh, she knew that her mother, and Harry of course, would take good care of him, but it hurt her, knowing that she may never see her son grow up, may never see him get married, have children, fall in love.

She hoped desperately that her son wouldn't end up as another Harry Potter, losing his whole family to Voldemort, never knowing his parents, and hell, she didn't want to be anything like Lily Evans either, nice as she supposedly was, her sister was a _bitch_.

She placed her baby down gently in his cot, smoothing his hair off his forehead, and kissing him goodbye, before grabbing her wand and leaving.

_Because she couldn't let Remus die on his own. _


	16. TeddyVictoire

**A/N: This wasn't going to be TeddyVictoire. This was going to be Teddy. If it had developed into a pairing it would have been TeddyLily, because I absolutely, completely and utterly DO NOT ship TeddyVictoire. Ever. But, uh, these things happen, so I present you with... my first ever TeddyVictoire (*hangs head in shame*) **

It always upset you, the fact that although in some ways you were Harry's generation – you should have been the second coming of the Marauders, along with Harry, and James should have been the third, with your children, in every other way you were part of his children's generation. You and Harry were both the children of the true Marauders, you and he were the two orphaned children, your parents killed by Voldemort and his followers, but you were 17 years younger than him, and 7 years older than the eldest of his children.

Stuck in the middle, that was you.

Admittedly, you weren't the eldest by a whole lot in the whole Potter/Weasley (Lupin?) family, Victoire was only two years younger, and in a way that made you perfect for each other, that's why you dated, married, that's why you had your children, the children that should have been the second coming of the Marauders, rather than the fourth.

But really, you were never a coming of the Marauders at all, you never "owned" the school, like James wanted to, and tried to, or like Lily effortlessly, unknowingly did. You may have been the son of one of them, but you never were _one of them_.

But in the end, it makes you happy, that you were born when you did. You met your wife, the beautiful, part Veela, French speaking, Beauxbatons educated, blonde haired, _part of the Weasley family _wife.

She had saved you when you needed saving the most, when you were drowning, drowning, drowning in your unrequited love for a girl _11 years your junior, _and no, it wasn't love, could never be love, it was _infatuation, _it was _obsession_, but never, ever love. Victoire had saved you from yourself, you had fallen in love with her, more so than when you had dated those five years ago when you waved her off for her final year at Hogwarts.

You had always wanted to belong, and now you did, Victoire Weasley, no, _Victoire Lupin_, was yours, forever and always. And damn, but you were happy about it.

_Because she was your salvation. _


	17. Sirius

You were the only one of the true Marauders not to have children. You would have liked children, if the right woman had ever come along, but she didn't. You had Harry though, and he was the best surrogate child you could have asked for.

His face was the last thing you saw as you fell through the curtain. You're still not quite sure if it actually was his face you saw, or if you were imagining it, anyhow, it was the most damn perfect thing that you could have seen before you died.

His dad was your best mate, and that made you feel somehow responsible for him. Having him at Grimmauld Place at Christmas, looking out for him, making sure Hagrid got hold of him, you did all those things for him, and you happily gave up your life to help him fulfil the prophecy that he had to fulfil.

In return, he gave you a family you thought you'd never have. He didn't realise what he was doing for you, he thought that all he'd done for you was to rescue you from that hellhole, and sometimes felt a little guilty that he didn't do more for you.

But, hell, he was like your son, you loved him as if he were your own, not just because you knew that that was what James would have wanted, but because he had slowly become your everything.

_Because, you can choose your family, and hadn't you already proved that? _


	18. RoseScorpius2

You knew your father wouldn't approve, he was _Ron Weasley_ after all, and Godric, he could hold a grudge.

You knew that your father would never like him, would never approve of his _little girl _and that **Malfoy scum**, but you were going to try, because, hell, you loved him, and he loved you, and it would kill you if you didn't fight for him, fight for you, fight for you both.

He wasn't even in Slytherin, he was a Ravenclaw, the cleverest of them all, he didn't like what his father had done, he wanted to distance himself from his father's actions as much as possible, he wanted to show that the Malfoy's weren't all bad.

You didn't care about his surname, or who his father was, or what he stood to inherit, all you cared about was the stolen kisses in corridors, evenings spent by the lake and the love that shone so brightly from his eyes that you sometimes thought it might blind you.

You knew your father wouldn't approve, but you loved him anyway.

_Because you can't help who you fall in love with._


	19. LilyLysander

It's always been him, he was the one you always wanted to be, _Lysander_, the golden child, the bad boy, the one who _got the girl._

He's your _big brother_ so you should love him, respect him, look up to him, but hell, you just want to _be him_. He got the looks, the attitude, the house, the friends, the girl.

Lysander, blonde hair, blue eyes, chiselled jaw, six pack, bad boy of Gryffindor, the one that led the others off the beaten track, the one who was best friends with _James Potter _and the one who went out with _Lily Luna_.

You were Lorcan, mousey brown hair, green eyes, skinny as a rake, rule obeying Hufflepuff, _friends _with Lily, but nothing more, never anything more. She loved you like a brother, but she loved your brother, and nothing, but nothing was ever going to change that, and not you, certainly not _you_.

Then _he _came along, and swept her off her feet, and she left Lysander broken hearted, but he would never admit it, not ever in a million years, he couldn't let _anything _break him, and certainly not admit that Teddy Lupin had won.

You watched from the sidelines as he fought for Lily, you watched as he bought her gifts, diamonds, pearls, spending thousands of galleons on things that she _didn't want, _and would just give to you, her _bestbest _friend, to give back to him.

One day, Teddy did something _unforgivable_, something that Lily would _never forgive him for_. But instead of running into your arms like she normally did, she ran straight to Lysander's instead.

_Because it always was Lily&Lysander._


	20. Dominique

Dominique Weasley. Hard as nails, prettier than your average Veela, absolutely, completely and utterly head over heels in love with Lysander Scamander.

Not that she'd ever admit it of course, Lysander went with Lily, it was LysanderandLily just like it was TeddyandVictoire and RoseandScorpius. Hell, just like it was HarryandGinny, RemusandTonks, _LilyandJames_.

She watched him from across the common room, drinking in the sight of him, loving the way that when they were in the common room, Lily, the little Slytherin princess, couldn't be there, and he was in her reach, for a couple of hours at least.

Her close friendship with his twin brother was the only reason he ever noticed her; Lorcan was the total opposite to Lysander, shy where Lysander was outgoing, skinny where Lysander was muscled, brunette where Lysander was blonde, friendly where Lysander was intimidating and rule abiding where Lysander was bad boy.

She was little Dominique Weasley, the one who had saved his twin from years of loneliness at Hogwarts, and although he would tease her, be her friend, he would never love her.

_Because it always would be Lily&Lysander. _


	21. Tom Riddle

He was always the different one. The one that nobody bought presents for at Christmas, or on his birthday because he didn't have enough friends, because he was different, because he _scared them_.

He took their stuff, but nobody knew where it had gone. He tortured their friends, but nobody knew how he did it. How could an eight year old boy permanently paralyse their thirty four year old carer? It just _wasn't natural_ and he just _wasn't normal_.

But, did any of them ever stop to think what it was like for him, to receive no presents, to think that nobody cared. Did they ever stop to think that it hurt him, the names, being _freak boy_ and _Riddling Riddle_, being scary without actually _meaning _to be? He didn't _mean_ to hurt Mrs Donald, he was just so, so angry, and then all of a sudden she was lying on the floor and she couldn't move and he _didn't know what to do_.

Of course, later on he knows exactly what it is he's doing, he enjoys it almost, torturing people whilst they beg for mercy, for death, for _anything but this_.

Do they ever think, the _Golden Trio, _Dumbledore, the _Order_; do they ever stop to wonder what it was that made him like this? Of course they don't. He is the enemy, ruthless, heartless and evil, and must be destroyed, no matter what the cost. They never stop to think that before the cruel shell of a man, came a scared little boy.

_Because there is a means to every end._


	22. Ginny

She was your little girl, and you didn't like to see her get hurt. You were the one who picked her up when she fell down, dusted the dirt off her dress and healed whatever injury she'd inflicted upon herself that day.

It hurt you, therefore, when she became this cold, hard shell of herself. You didn't know where it was that you'd gone wrong, what it was that had happened to her to make her turn into the ruthless, calculating Slytherin she now was.

Gone was the smiling, happy, bubbly little girl that you had known before, and in her place came this teenage girl, who said "fuck" too much, wore too much makeup, too short skirts, too high heels and too low necklines. Gone were the pigtails and mud encrusted nails, and in their place came perfectly straightened hair and perfectly manicured nails, done for her weekly by her aunt Fleur when she visited Shell Cottage.

You were told "_it's only a phase, don't worry, she'll get over it,_" but you sure as hell didn't remember yourself turning into something like this, nor did you remember Hermione or any of your other friends doing so, and none of Lily's cousins, Molly, Lucy, Rose, seemed to be doing so either.

There was always a lingering smell of _something_ hanging around her, but you never could quite place it. It reminded you of Muggle London, and pubs and clubs, but you didn't quite know _what_ it was. And you could swear that half of those Muggle drinks she was drinking smelt more like paint stripper than butterbeer, but you figured it was what the young were drinking these days.

If only you knew what she was doing, what she was drinking, then maybe the train wreck that was her life wouldn't have happened. But it had been years since you had been out into the Muggle world, and Harry was far too busy to notice what Lily was drinking, or to smell the _other smell_ over her perfume.

But, in the end, you found out, as if she wanted you to know. She turned up, half drunk, too much make up, too little clothing, cigarette in hand, and managed to destroy your belief in her in one fell swoop.

_Because maybe it was all your fault anyway._


	23. Lily Luna 3

You don't _mean_ to turn into this empty shell of yourself, not originally anyway. At first, you had planned to give them something of a shock, and then get over it, become the good girl you had always been before.

But you found you _liked _it, the endless **drinkingsmokingpartying**, you enjoy the taste of the vodka, the firewhiskey, the gin, you enjoy the cigarettes that your friends pass around, the loud music, the dancing, the unmeaning trysts with boys in dark corners.

You like the way your skirts get high enough for people to see the lace tops of your stockings, your heels get higher and higher, your necklines lower and lower. You like the hour you spend in the shower each morning, and the two hours you spend getting ready, the makeup, the hairdryer, the curling irons. You like the fact that your professors wince every time you open your mouth, because about every second word is "fuck," but don't call you out on it, because, fuck, you're _Lily Luna Potter._ You like the way that you never attend DADA classes anymore, and are late to almost every lesson, but you still manage to be the cleverest in your year.

That's what being Slytherin means to you, right there, cleverer than the Ravenclaws, because of your cunning and ruthlessness to get what you want, more loyal that the Hufflepuffs because the Sytherins _stick together_ and always will, and braver than the Gryffindors, because, hell, you're _proud _to bea Slytherin, and that's bravery right there.

_Because Slytherin gave you your life back._

**A/N: Meh, this one makes no sense, not even in my head. Whatever.**


	24. Teddy 2

**Originally written for the Yule Ball/New Years collab challenge thing on the Hogwarts Online forum**

**Teddy Lupin**

It was the Yule Ball at which he first saw her, dancing under the mistletoe, her long silvery-blonde hair flying out as she danced. They were inseparable after that, he was so deeply in love (or should that maybe be _lust_?) with his beautiful part Veela, who had inherited the elegance and beauty of her mother's fashion sense, and she was in love with the idea of him, the tragic orphaned hero, whose parents were killed in the great war, the Harry Potter (or should that maybe be _Ron _the trusty _sidekick_?)of their generation.

But it wasn't too long after Christmas the next year, just before the New Year in Victoire's last year at Hogwarts that they realised that they were never going to be compatible. Teddy wanted to settle down, get married as soon as she had finished school, start a family. She was too much of a free spirit, she wanted to finish school, and have a laugh, a ball, go on a 'round the world trip, get away from the craziness of being a Weasley.

So in the end, they broke up. Victoire went off on her trip of a lifetime, she had her many flings, and never once (or should that be _always_?)thought of Teddy. Teddy stayed behind, stayed with his family (or should that be famil_ies_?), finishing his Auror training, and going straight to the top, because of who his family (or should because of who _he_) was.

There was that one girl that was perfect for him, though, whether he knew it or not. His best friend, his godsister, his _shining star_. Lily Luna Potter had had him bewitched since the day she had blinked up at him with those shining emerald eyes of hers, on her first day of life. He watched as she grew up, long red ringlets slowly growing longer, coiling down her back. He watched as she left for Hogwarts, smiling so bright he thought for a moment that she was outshining the sun. He watched when she returned that summer, dressed in the silver and green of Slytherin robes, her proudful demeanour only heightened by the year spent in Slytherin. He watched her skirts grow shorter; her heels grow higher; her necklines work their way slowly south. The makeup on her face grew heavier, but more skilful, and her natural beauty grew tenfold.

She caught his heart the moment Victoire threw it away, and she had never let go. As he watches her now, tearing open her presents underneath the tree, and sneakily giving the jumper from her Grandma Weasley to a house elf, he feels his heart breaking into even more tiny pieces, and not just because he thinks of what could have been between he and Victoire every time this time of year rolls around.

He tries to tell himself that he hates Christmas, and what's the point of a new year anyway? It would make it so much easier for everyone if there were no such things as years or months, or days. If we all just lived one day to the next – if the earlier muggles could manage it, then so could we. It's not our calendar that makes us more civilized, more special than the primitive beings that came before, but our way of thinking, our inventions, our society.

He tries to convince many people of his point of view, but most just laugh, or look at him pityingly, sometimes kindly, sometimes doubting he was sane in his mind.

But after a while, after he and Lily are finally united as one, Christmas starts to hold some meaning for him again. It may have been the time when he lost one of the people closest to his heart, but it is also the time when he gained the most important person in his life.

_Because really, what is Christmas, if not a time for celebrating, and what is New Year, if not a time for new starts?_

* * *

**A/N: Well, that pretty much sucked.**..


	25. TeddyLily

**For hideyowifehideyokids for reviewing EVERY SINGLE chapter - THANK YOU :)**

**So, this is my big finale :) Thanks to everyone who reviewed, story alerted and favourited - ly :) Warning for profanities (gosh, I love that word) suggestions of M themes and tense jumping&changing (but only a bit.) Happy Christmas people!**

**Teddy/Lily (because I love them, and their messed up lives)**

* * *

He was Teddy, you were Lily and you were best best friends, _forever&always_. You would wait for him every summer, hanging out of your bedroom window, and running down the stairs and out of the door as soon as you saw him arrive.

It didn't matter to you that he was eleven years older than you, all that mattered was that he was there, and he didn't make fun of you like your brothers did. He told you stories, helped you chase butterflies, let you stay up late when he babysat you, and never, ever, told on you the way James and Al did.

Teddy thought of you as his best friend too, no matter how much he was teased by his friends at school for being best friends with a _girl _and a girl who was _eleven years younger _than him at that. He could _talk_ to you, he said, and you might not really understand his problems, after all, a six year old has a very different level of maturity than a seventeen year old, but you listened, and you understood that he was upset, and needed comforting. So you took him poppies when he broke up with Vic, the scarlet flowers spilling out of your eleven year old hands, and scaring him with the thought that you had somehow injured yourself.

When you were sorted into Slytherin, Teddy stood by you, was truly happy and proud of you amongst all of the forced smiles, and hushed whispers about how a "_Weasley and Potter child_" had ended up in Slytherin. You had heard your great-great aunt Muriel insisting that your mother must have been having an affair with "_Draco Malfoy or one of the like"_ because there was no way that a child from the "_distinguished houses of Weasley and Potter" _could ever end up in a house filled with **Death Eater scum.**

But truthfully, you rather enjoy being a Slytherin; you rather enjoy the way that it marks you out from the rest of your family. Not all of the Weasleys had ended up in Gryffindor, there were too many of them now for that, but none of them, not _one _of them had ended up in Slytherin.

At first, many people thought it was a fluke, they didn't understand how such a _nice girl_, how a girl that smiled at people on the street, who seemed to care so much about her cousins, they didn't understand how that girl could be sorted into Slytherin. But they didn't know what was going on inside your head, and Salazar, if they did, would they even care?

But when you hit your fourth year, after everything had blown up in your face, after you had had that _massiveawfuldamnscary _fight with Teddy, after you stopped being so damn _Potterish_, after you grew into your house, then they saw. They saw exactly why you were in Slytherin.

Slytherin isn't the house of _baddies_, and Gryffindor isn't the house of _heroes&heroines_, life's not clear cut enough for that. Slytherin is the house of those who aren't afraid to fight for what they want, who are cunning and ruthless enough to get it by any means possible.

Slytherins have always protected their own, always have, and always will, that was the most important lesson any Slytherin was taught when they entered the house. When you arrived back at Hogwarts to start your fourth year with puffy eyes and tear tracks down your face, they grabbed you, forced you on the bed, and made you tell them who it was that caused you to feel like this.

And then they swear to get him back in any way possible.

Of course, because he's _Teddy Lupin _and he's currently one half of the wonder couple that is _Teddy&Victoire, _the obvious way to start is with your appearance. If he wants unrequited love, he can fucking _have _unrequited love.

So gone are the days of messy ginger curls haphazardly framing your face, and instead you have long, copper ringlets snaking their way across your back. Your skin goes from bare of makeup to perfectly polished, pale skin, green eyes, long lashes and _redred _lips. You wear short skirts, high heels, tight tops and low necklines.

And somehow, along with your new look, comes a new personality. A new Lily, one who says "fuck" far too much, drinks muggle spirits and wizard spirits in a cocktail of destruction, sneaks out to party all night long in the muggle clubs. You're addicted to that muggle drug they call _nicotine, _or maybe you just like the way your lips look when you have a cigarette between them.

You're showing Teddy Lupin that you couldn't give a fuck that he _loves you_, and you hope that you've fucking given him enough of a case of _un-fucking-requited love _to still your heart. (Because you'd never admit that you were in love with him. Not even to yourself.)

You bomb out of Hogwarts in a blaze of glory, more spectacular than anything Fred and George ever did (and, fuck, but George is proud of you.) You fail all your O.W.L.s and are caught _in a compromising position _with one of the boys you play with, get your kicks from.

The headmistress offers to give you _one last chance_, but you've had enough. You're done with this fucking school, and all the people that are in it. You couldn't care less about O.W.L.s or N.E.W.T.s or getting a job – you know for a fact that you will get enough from your inheritance to live on for the rest of your life. You may not get the Potter fortune, or the Black fortune, but you get what's left, and, fuck, that's a hell of a lot.

You can't resist going to see him _one last time _though, turning up in your skin tight jeans, spike heels and leather jacket. You smell of smoke, and he swears he can smell muggle spirits on you as well, but he hopes his mind is playing tricks on him.

You slap his face, and leave him standing there, reeling from your blow. You turn around and storm out, screaming out a medley of lies about how much you hate him, because you can't carry on with this dance of lies and regret anymore.

Sometimes you wish you had at least given _Teddy&Lily _a shot, but _JustLily _is so much easier, and so much less fuss.

So tilt that bottle up, darling, and drain it dry, because that's all the warmth you're going to get this Christmas day.

_Because sometimes, sadness is easier to deal with than happiness._

* * *

**A/N: Well, umm, Happy Christmas, people!**


End file.
